April 28,2014

You know, I've been through a lot during these past few years. I've experienced what's it like to be in a relationship, but broke it off because I've decided to be God's child first. I've realized that life isn't all fun and games. I'm not as wise as I make myself to be. I'm growing up too fast and when as I face everyday, it seems like the same but when I look back, everything has changed. I'm now heading off to post-secondary soon and it's scary but exciting at the same time. It's a bittersweet moment where I realize that a door that I've been so familiar with is not closing and a new bigger door is opening. It's going to be tough. I don't know where my future is heading but I know who holds it. I know that God will guide me through all my ups and downs. God Bless.
                                                      -BlackIris

Different Day, Different World

Today I went to TAC (Toronto Alliance Church) to serve soup and sandwiches to the homeless. When I went there I never though it was going to be so, in no better words: ghetto. It was soo different than the life I have back in the city. I see more people that need GOD and haven't have love for a while. I mean that's why we're there right? To let the ones that need love experience GOD's love by our actions. My heart smiled when I saw the looks of satisfaction and happiness when they ate the food. Lots of them complimented the soup and came for seconds, thirds, fourths, fifths, and even sixths! We had plenty to go around so why not give more?!
It was my first time doing this kind of thing so I was kind of scared because of the different behavior shown in the atmosphere.   Lots of people swore and some had mental issues which I felt sorry for. There were even signs of people who took drugs.

There was a man that went up to me and asked for food but we aren't suppose to serve them unless they're seated but all the seats where taken and he said, "all the seats are full and by the time I get one there's going to be no food left" with an attitude that scared me abit but I reassured him and told him that we have plenty to go around. He went away. A few minutes late he came back and said, " you're right there was plenty, I got some and it was good. Thank you." It meant so much to me that I was able to reassure him and meet his needs. It was satisfying that I satisfied him. It's something you have to experience to feel and truly understand.
I arrived to TAC feeling shaken and scared at first because of how different it was but after I saw GOD doing his work in that place where people need love most and I felt not a duty to serve but just ... to serve because I can. There was this one lady who seemed have a mental disorder and wouldn't follow the rules. She stole some cheese from the sandwich making pile and when Desmond tried to ask for it back she held it like she was securing it and told us to back off. She yelled and tried to hit someone when they told her she was doing something wrong and breaking the rules. Someone (a homeless person) told her to ... something, I missed it but she responded strongly and said something along the lines of, "MY CHILDREN TOOK IT, THEY TOOK EVERYTHING AND LEFT!" I felt some pain in my heart for her. Her own children abandoned her? I didn't know rather to believe it or just ignore it but it was just ... sad. I hope her going to TAC to get food will  help her see that GOD still loves her no matter what and that she still has love in her life.  I love GOD and knows he can only do good for me. I love him and I will never regret what I did today. He's using me as a tool to show his love and it's a privilege.
Although I can't express this feeling of doing work for GOD into words I can express it in one: L-O-V-E -love.
GOD bless.

April 18 - Shallow ends

That comment,

It wasn't because you said it that angered me

But the fact of WHO would say it

I dived too deep

And now coming back up

That comment - who would say it?

Vain, Superficial, and Shallow would say it.

You are not them so stop!

Anger boiled in me until it disappeared

Because I realized

I was disappointed.

Worst thing is,

You don't understand

Because you're just

A boy

Note: Written out of disappointment and the pain that clenched in my heart for that moment .

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”
― C.S. Lewis

When I am on the brink of confusion and awarness

I feel like I'm on the edge, just a like the edge of a cup ... or fence. You get the point. I dunno which side I'll fall into. I know the feelings are true but at the same time I deny. I go through these feelings so often that I confuse myself.

I have feelings that I store up in my heart that no one knows about except for GOD who always sees the depths of our hearts and still loves us unconditionally, which is incredible and amazing.

I want to get off this fence and walks forward but I can't . I need something that could take this all away - time. To get time I need patience.

Jan. 30, 2012

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
― Dr. Seuss

Is this true? *shrugs shoulders* I think it is. =)

Christmas Cheer, Winter is here!

*.˛.°★。˛°.★** *★* *˛.
˛ °_██_*。*./ ♥ \ .˛* .˛.*.★* *★ 。*
˛. (´• ̮•)*˛°*/.♫.♫\*˛.* ˛_Π_____. * ♥ ˛*
.°( . • . ) ˛°./• '♫ ' •\.˛*./______/~＼*. ˛*.。˛* ˛. *。
*(...'•'.. ) *˛╬╬╬╬╬˛°.｜田田 ｜門｜╬╬╬╬

I'm looking forward to a merry Christmas where everyone is with their family and enjoying the peacefulness of the lovely snow slowly falling to the ground.
I'm also really busy at school because the teachers are trying to get test and project assigned and given before the big break! *sigh* ╮(╯▽╰)╭(oh, well) life of a student. They do say high school is the best time of your life as long as you want it to be, so I'll make the best of it.


I went back to my middle school today to get my poetry folder that I made when I was in grade 8. I met my teacher and I was SOO HAPPY TO SEE HER. She's still as organized as ever and she's still passionate about teaching. When she realized that I was really into filming and want to become a film director when I grow up, a teacher from next door came over and suggested that I talk to this other teacher. This "other teacher" just came back to my middle school after taking a 3 year break to direct and MAKE MOVIES! OMG I was thinking this is my opportunity that I can't pass on! My grade 8 teacher brought me to her classroom to meet her and she said we can make a time to meet and talk more about my dreams! Wanting to become a film director might be a bit of a gamble but I'm going to work hard towards it.